I am 41 and a half years old.
How tall are you?
I am 5 foot 0 inches
How much do you weigh?
um...with my shoes on and clothes and um...
What did you learn about me?
A. Nothing
B. I am a short, 41 year old, who doesn't know how much I weigh or doesn't wish to share it
C. All of the above
We are so much more than what is measured by numbers. Rarely do people ask these things, we are so hesitant to answer. Thank GOD!
I love the movie Shallow Hal! Have you seen it? This is so funny and makes a mockery of the outward beauty being a reflection of the inner personallity. If only we could see each other's inner personallity. Watch it, or the trailer and see what it's about. I am guilty of this shallow, self judgement.
One of my major flaws is creating a negative view of myself. I am not sure how this started but it is an awful way to live. And I am constantly looking for a way to feel better about myself and my outward apearance. I do believe it is a body dymorphia at times and can rationally make myself feel better. However sometimes I can avoid events, social outtings and people for fear of the way I look.
I grew up dancing in a studio full of mirrors! Being forced to shape my body in certain ways and striving to move perfectly.
I also have some words imprinted into my memory that can replay and remind me of my insecurities.
"You are too short to be a professional ballerenia"
"You need to loose some weight in your thighs"
"You shouldn't go to college for dance!"
"Do you still run?"
And these words come with the judgemental looks and up and down body scanning.
I am a 41 year old, who has been 5 foot for the past 25 years of my life. I have an amazing family, supportive husband, loving children, involved parents and I am safe and have more than I could ever possibly need in life. I am a nurse, fitness trainer, and I own two growing businesses. I will continue to find my hope in prayer and reveal my true self to you in these blogs.
I am not perfect, and I wish I could see me in Hal's eys because we all need a perspective of who we truely are. We are more than our reflection, more than any number (age, pants size), more than how much money we make, more than what meets the eye.
Each one of us is imperfect , unique and beautiful on the inside.
So don't judge yourself and certainly don't judge others...I know this is difficult but lets work on it together.
